Love's Fool
by futureat
Summary: Harvey comes to terms with the fact that his marriage with Bonnie is finished.


Love's Fool  
  
Summary: Harvey wonders why he was so easily taken in when it came to Bonnie and Evan tells him that it's time to stop letting her run over him. I was always amazed at the depth of the feelings that Harvey had for Bonnie and wanted to take a chance to explore them further. As always, any reviews are appreciated!  
  
Disclaimer: I have not actually seen 'Angel of Mercy' since it first aired, and I have tried not to make any slip-ups in the story, but if I have, please let me know and I'll fix them! I was not terribly interested in the show then and didn't have much reason to pay attention (may I be struck by lightning where I stand for such blasphemy!). Thanks again to Mel who kept answering my questions about particular moments in the episode! The Nash Bridges show is not mine, nor are any of the characters. Jeff Perry/Harvey Leek belongs to me only in daydreams!  
  
-------------------  
  
Harvey had half-expected it, but that didn't erase the anger that he felt for being left with nothing but a Christmas card when he had hoped to begin mending his shattered marriage. Harvey was fighting to keep the bitterness out of his voice as he spoke to her. "So, okay, what? You stop by, tell me you're sorry, check me off the 'To Do' list on your 12-step program?"  
  
Bonnie hesitated slightly before responding. "Look, I hurt you, Harvey. I know it. You didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry. That's what I'm here to say. I'm sorry."  
  
"Okay." Harvey had startled Bonnie as well as himself at how easily he had spoken that one word.  
  
"You forgive me?" Bonnie looked at him carefully as she watched the anger melt and the adoration that she knew Harvey had always held for her took its place.  
  
Harvey looked at Bonnie and every affectionate feeling that he had ever felt for her came rushing back and flooding his mind. The sense of betrayal was gone and all Harvey could think about was how much he loved her. Harvey didn't care what happened next as he embraced her. "I forgive you." ~Evan was wrong. Finally, things are going to be okay now. I knew that we'd be able to fix this. ~  
  
---  
  
Harvey lay back on the bed, breathless. The last two hours were the most incredible and sublime moments he had ever shared with anyone. Harvey kissed Bonnie slowly but passionately as she laid her head on his chest and drifted off.  
  
It had been almost three years since he had made love to Bonnie, but everything had been perfect; Harvey was amazed at how familiar her body had felt after all this time. ~Everything is perfect now. Bonnie's here forever. ~ He held Bonnie even closer as he gently kissed her once more and fell asleep with a smile on his face.  
  
---  
  
Harvey winced as the offensive buzzing of the alarm clock woke him from sleep. With his eyes still closed, Harvey reached over to slap the snooze button and leaned toward Bonnie to kiss her good morning. He sat up with a start when he realized that she wasn't there and momentary panic enveloped Harvey as he looked around. ~No, please, not again. ~  
  
Before he could think about where she had gone, Bonnie came back into the bedroom wearing the Grateful Dead T-shirt Harvey had on the night before and holding a cup of coffee. "Morning, Harv. Did you sleep well?" She set her mug on the table beside the bed and kissed his cheek before climbing back underneath the blankets.  
  
Harvey ran his hand through Bonnie's hair and returned her kiss, immeasurably relieved that she hadn't run away again. "I slept really well. The sweetest dreams you could imagine."  
  
The alarm clock began shrieking once more and when he turned to hit the snooze button again, Bonnie gently grabbed his hand and whispered in his ear. "You have to go to work, Harvey. We can finish this tonight, okay?"  
  
"Alright, honey. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise." Harvey kissed her again quickly, dressed himself and left the house, every wrong that Bonnie had done to him gone from his memory.  
  
---  
  
Harvey felt like a brand new man as he pulled onto his street. There were no words to describe how happy he had felt, only the memory of the day he had married Bonnie. Harvey had chosen to ignore Evan's continued skepticism when he had told him he was stopping by the florist's on the way home. Flowers seemed like such a generic gift to the layman, but Bonnie had always liked them, and Harvey had made sure to pick out her favorites.  
  
Harvey had gotten through the day as quickly as he could, hardly able to wait to see Bonnie again. Something pricked at the back of his mind as he pulled into his driveway, but Harvey dismissed the bad feeling quickly as he bounded out of car, up the steps and through the door, excitedly holding the bouquet in his hand.  
  
Harvey stopped dead in his tracks as he entered his home. The terrible feeling he had pushed to the back of his mind came flooding back with frightening clarity. A foolish moment of hope told Harvey that Bonnie had just left the house for a moment, but his eyes caught sight of the mantle and the note that lay upon it. Harvey felt cruelly deflated as he reached for the note, even though he knew what it was going to say. ~She's gone. Bonnie's gone, I don't believe it. No. ~  
  
Setting the bouquet down, Harvey numbly reached for the phone, calling his partner and best friend, not knowing what else to do.  
  
"Cortez...hello."  
  
"I'm here man."  
  
"Hey Harvey, what's up man?" Evan could hear the devastation in his partner's voice and swore silently under his breath as he could imagine what had just happened.  
  
"She left me another note." Harvey swallowed hard to keep the tears from coming, still not wanting to believe that Bonnie had screwed him over yet again.  
  
"Oh man, I'm sorry. What are you doing, you wanna do something?" ~That bitch! I knew it. I'll kill her for doing this to him. ~  
  
"I could eat." Harvey wasn't really hungry and was fairly certain that Evan knew that, but he didn't want to be alone, and he didn't know what else to say.  
  
"I'll be there in 10."  
  
---  
  
Slamming his hand against the steering wheel in anger, Evan wondered how somebody like Harvey could so hopelessly and blindly in love with a wench like Bonnie. ~ He ought to just wear a 'Kiss me, I'm gullible!' sign when it comes to that woman. ~ Evan flinched at the thought and breathed an apology, instantly feeling guilty.  
  
Ignoring his previous plans for the evening, he pulled into a nameless driveway and turned around, ignoring the gravel he sprayed all over their lawn as he peeled out and sped towards Harvey's house.  
  
---  
  
Harvey numbly placed the phone back in its cradle and walked out onto the front porch as if in a dream. Leaning against the railing, his thoughts became lost in Bonnie. He wondered if he would ever see her again, and what would happen if he did. A little voice kept creeping into Harvey's reason, telling him that it really was over this time, but he violently pushed the thought out as quickly as it arrived. ~It's not over. It isn't. I won't let it be over. We were meant for each other, and all she needs is a little time... ~  
  
Harvey's stubborn cogitations were broken up by a blue Dodge Ram screeching in behind the Ranchero. He looked over with a start, and saw his partner's worried form come out of the truck quickly.  
  
Evan, with a paper parcel in his hand, came up the steps and stood beside Harvey, not really knowing what to say, but knowing that sometimes just being there was enough. ~Harv'll start talking in a minute. Just give him some space for now. ~  
  
"What's that?" Harvey turned to face his friend and gestured to the package.  
  
Evan gave Harvey a lop-sided grin as he revealed the contents. "I figured you were going to be more thirsty than hungry." Evan opened the door and led them both inside. Harvey obediently followed, suddenly feeling very tired and very old.  
  
---  
  
Bonnie settled back into the plane seat and sipped at her soda. She knew what the potential of meeting with Harvey had held, but she had to make peace with herself.  
  
Sharing Harvey's bed last night had only made things more complicated and she felt that she had to leave before Harvey got the idea that things were starting over. ~It was nice to be loved by him just one last time, though. He'll realize that our marriage was a mistake eventually. He's strong and he'll get over this before he knows it. ~  
  
Bonnie reached under her seat and took the heavy white envelope from out of her carry-on bag. Signing where she was required to, she placed the papers back in the envelope and wrote Harvey's name and address on the front. "Divorce granted. Now I can finally live my life." Her eyes shot a warning look to the passenger who was staring at her with raised eyebrows as Bonnie handed the envelope to a passing flight attendant, asking her to mail it when they landed.  
  
"Cobarde!" The young Mexican woman Bonnie had glared at shook her head in disgust and returned to her book, but not before making sure the blonde woman understood her meaning, if not the word itself.  
  
---  
  
The two inspectors sat on the floor in the Dead Room next to each other and said nothing. Each man quietly paid attention to his own drink before Evan finally broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about it, or just drink?"  
  
Harvey's head snapped up quickly and he looked at Evan with hurt in his eyes. After carefully studying Evan's face for a moment, Harvey realized that his partner had meant no sarcasm; Evan just wanted to know what to do. ~Talk about it, bubba; you'll feel better and you know it. ~  
  
"Thanks." Harvey's words were barely audible and Evan had to listen closely to hear them.  
  
Evan took another swallow of his bourbon and refilled Harvey's glass before answering. "For what, for coming over here?"  
  
"Yeah, that, and for not saying I told you so, because Heaven knows I deserve to hear it."  
  
"No, man, you don't deserve it. You haven't deserved anything that's happened to you, yesterday or today." Evan held his partner's gaze for several seconds to make sure Harvey understood the sincerity in his voice.  
  
Harvey sighed, wanting to believe his friend, but still not able to. "Then why didn't I see this coming? Eating dinner, drinking the wine together, going upstairs. I was so sure things were permanent at last." Harvey raised his voice as he pounded his fist on the beanbag chair beside him. "WHY?"  
  
Evan shrugged slightly as only one thought came to him. "My friend, love is blind. You didn't see any of this because you love her."  
  
Harvey's voice felt strained as he responded. "You're right. I love her more than anything, and if she would just come back and let me tell her." His voice trailed off when he realized that Evan was looking at the floor, obviously trying to decide something.  
  
~I hope I know what I'm saying here. ~ "Harv, love is blind, but it shouldn't be stupid."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Harvey's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out what his partner was getting at.  
  
Evan let out a loud sigh before continuing, his own voice rising slightly with a hint of frustration. "Look, brother. Look at what's happened between you and Bonnie these past five, six years."  
  
When Harvey said nothing, Evan hesitated. ~Alright, just say it. ~ "You kissed Bonnie's ass, and look what she's done to you. She didn't even have the balls to face you herself; she left you a frickin' note, just like last time! You knew what she was going to do, man. You may have denied it to yourself, but you knew what she was going to do, just the same. How many times are you going to let her get away with this, Harv?"  
  
Harvey's first instinct was to become furious at how Evan was disrespecting Bonnie, but the look on Evan's face told him to keep listening; there was truth in his friend's words. "What are you saying?"  
  
"Like I said, you knew what was going to happen last night, and you know what's going to happen in a few days. You're going to get divorce papers in the mail, along with a note from Bonnie, because once again, she doesn't have the guts to face you herself." He took another drink before continuing, hoping that his courage would amplify as the amber liquid burned a path down his throat and into his stomach.  
  
Harvey looked at his friend, struggling for words. Evan was right, and ever so slowly, Harvey was beginning to realize it. He thought he felt a few warm tears slowly slide down his face and Harvey saw his world come crashing down around him. Barely whispering, he answered Evan. "Wh-what do you think I should do?"  
  
Evan's demeanor calmed considerably as he realized what he was about to suggest to his best friend. He leaned forward towards Harvey as he softly answered him. "When the papers get here, I think you should sign them. Sign them, drop them off with the magistrate, and get on with your life. It's time you got smart and stopped letting her treat you like this."  
  
Evan's brutal honesty struck Harvey's state of mind vehemently, and his mouth opened slightly as the finality of the situation became completely clear to him. Harvey finished his drink and tried to look up at his partner, but found he was unable to meet Evan's eyes. With a trembling voice, Harvey paraphrased what his partner had just told him. "It's over. It really is over."  
  
Unable to hold back the tears, Harvey's body began to shake as his head dropped against his chest. He no longer cared what Evan might think of him for breaking down like this. ~I poured my heart and soul into this marriage and I've failed. I believe it, but I don't want to. ~  
  
Evan sat there on the floor, glass in hand, not knowing what to say. ~ I wish I knew what to do right now. I've never been married, I've never been divorced, and I've never even been engaged. ~ Sighing, he leaned back against the wall, and thumped his fist gently against Harvey's shoulder a few times before emptying the rest of the bottle into his glass.  
  
---  
  
Harvey sat at his desk, finishing up some reports he had been meaning to get to before a kidnapping had gotten him sidetracked. It had been four days since Bonnie had left, and nothing had come in the mail for him. Harvey began to wonder if maybe Bonnie hadn't left him after all and that she would call any day now, wanting to apologize.  
  
Sighing, he rubbed his finger over his ear and tried to clear his thoughts. "You gotta cut this out, man."  
  
Harvey looked up at the sound of a woman laughing. He quickly faked a smile as he tried to mask the foreboding he felt inside. Rose had brought him the card from Bonnie last year, and she held a thick white envelope in her hand. "You, know, Harv, talking to yourself is supposed to be the first sign of insanity."  
  
"Hi, Rose, how're you doing?" Harvey took the envelope she offered him and tried to make a joke as he opened it, knowing what it held inside as soon as he recognized the handwriting. "Well, after working around here for so long, what do you expect?" Laughing in agreement, Rose slapped his shoulder lightly and headed back to her desk.  
  
Feeling torpidly detached and cold to the circumstances, Harvey began to sign in the blank spaces, right beside his wife's signatures. ~Not your wife, man, your ex-wife. Ex-wife. ~  
  
---  
  
Evan glanced up from his desk, seeing Harvey take the envelope out of the young sergeant's hand and slowly reach for a pen. He walked over to his partner, wanting to help his friend. "Are those what I think they are?"  
  
Signing in the last blank, Harvey replaced the pen slowly. He stared at the papers for a long time before putting them back in the envelope and standing. "Yeah, they are, Ev. Tell Nash I'll be back in a minute, okay? I have to drop something off at the courthouse."  
  
"You want me to go with you?" Evan regarded his partner with a certain amount of suspicion, knowing how hard this had to be for Harvey and also remembering the other night when the eminent divorce had brought Harvey to tears.  
  
"Uh, no. Thanks, man, but no. I really am okay with this; I got everything out of my system a few days ago." Harvey clapped Evan on the arm and left the ferry, aware of an odd sense of relief coursing through his veins.  
  
--------------------  
  
Alrighty, then! Let me know what you think, bubbas (and sisters)! I had plans to include Bryn in this story, but couldn't really find a place for her. Also, I had my heart set on putting a song in, but I only found one song that really fit Harvey's circumstances and I never could fit it into the plot, either. Surprisingly, I think it worked out just fine. 


End file.
